To me this is, i think people have thought of them as, like the pepper and the salt. To me, this is the steak yeah you know like being on time or taking good notes or being like that's the salt and pepper. That's the commodity. You've got your perspective.

I just want to be happy. Don't you want to be happy, welcome everybody, joe tarnowski and with ecrm, and i are back with me, gary vaynerchuk entrepreneur, investor and best-selling author gary thanks for joining us thanks for having me so you're, a big believer in emotional intelligence. In fact, you have a book coming out in november. That's all about leveraging emotional skills for business success.

Why is eq so important? Because i think it's real life? You know, i think, a lot of things that were taught around business business school are uh the hard skills they matter. You need to know how to balance a checkbook. You need to know how to staff and models and all that it's very important, but at the end of the day, i really think businesses run by people with people for people and humanity and and the things that trigger people positively and negatively are incredibly important and Leadership, uh capabilities that find the balance between actually executing something because business is a competitive world, um and uh and um you know and and then you know actually having the humanity to make. Those things happen matters now you mentioned, like you, said it's not taught in business school.

So how do you go about figuring out or or how much i eq somebody has and are there certain roles that are better for high? I eq people versus low eq people um, i think uh. I think every role is important. I actually think the ceo is the number one person you'd like to have eq, because if she or he doesn't they're vulnerable, you know i there's no really way to measure. It's not like.

We have a test like a cova test or an sat where you can really get that answer. I think um, i'm a big fan of trying to get real feedback from human beings that interact with human beings. You know so when i'm making decisions on hiring, i try to see if i can find a person or two that's close to that person that doesn't have a horse in the race. That's worked with them in the past, the real real um and then you just observe it when they work for you.

You know the way i pick. Managers are the ones who have you know these emotional intelligence skills, but you know, listen, there's some very aggressive, emotional intelligence skills that matter ambition, matters, for example. You know one of the traits i talk about in the book is ambition. Ambition matters like somebody, that's hungry, is going to achieve more.

It's just you know. Ambition over passiveness is a factor in winning, but but so is accountability. So you have ambitious people who don't like accountability. They like to blame everybody else.

They like fingers, not thumbs um. So some of these skills kind of uh contrast with each other yeah, i think so, like you know, to me being content and being in like my life, wild levels of complacent, i wouldn't call complacency. I call it content, i'm incredibly grateful, but actually that's the one. I use now, but gratitude and ambition could seem as a contradiction, i'm so grateful for everything i have and don't have any expectations, no entitlement to more but have incredible drive for more right yep.

So i think yes, i do think you know uh, kindness and empathy confuse people. I laugh when people are confused by that right. Um curiosity is actually a heavy and humility two things. I talk a lot about being curious and being humble, but at the same token conviction so i'm incredibly curious, but i have wild conviction.

You know humility is my ultimate pillar of why i think i'm here today and being honored to interview with you and all the good things that are happening to me, but i have crazy conviction once i believe something because i've tested and learned it was cured. So i i think these things do battle against each other. You know, patience and tenacity are two of the ingredients. I talk about all the time.

Imagine being equally patient and tenacious patience for me is a macro. Tenacity is a micro right, so you have to be tenacious in the task at hand but patient in the overall mission, and i think people struggle with the levels they struggle with the macro micro gotcha. So you may have one level of one and then a lower level of the other and it kind of works together. That's right and, and one may be something about life and another might be the project at hand gotcha.

So um you referred to empathy as the swiss army knife of business tools that can be used to motivate employees. Close sales create new products, deliver world-class service. How should one employ empathy both in dealing with their customers, but also within their organizations? Well to me it's funny i have more. I have more empathy for my employees than i do for my customers and i have more empathy for my customers, customers than i do for my customers.

You know, i think people have the rankings wrong. I go employee. Customer of comp this is at vayner because we're b2b, employee customer of customer like the customers of budweiser and then the client most places are client, client, client, and i think that hurts them. So, for me, that's how i think about it and i'm just incredibly passionate about it.

I think that if you care and know what your employee cares about, you can create a system that allows them to be happy and succeed. I mean when you most, businesses are selling really that the byproduct of their success is predicated on their people. I don't know how people don't see that i'm sure they think people are interchangeable. I do not yep it's all about people doing business with people and it's funny uh.

I was reading every year i read marcus aurelius meditations and it just so happened that the part i got up to today. He wrote patience, uh practice really hearing what people say. Do your best to get inside their minds so empathy, the value of empathy has been around for a thousand more than a thousand years. So it's just interesting.

How and listening is such an important part of it listening and observing um, it's just so damn obvious, but we don't talk about it in business right even right now i just had to reply to somebody whose mother is sick. That works. That was what i was just doing on my phone right, i'm in the middle of this interview. I don't want to be.

I don't want to be not paying attention to this, but i've been worrying about this employee and, like i didn't, even want to wait for a second. I want him to feel my being in it even at the ability of like having somebody see this and be like. Oh, why is gary not paying attention for a second, so i'm willing to take the casualty, be the front of it and be judged on that. So i can do what i just did and and what that is, that was so meta, but that was an example of the reality of it all either you're religious about this emotional intelligence or you're, not either you're about your employees or you're, not either.

You realize that your employees, your customers, the business and then you the entrepreneur, is fourth and too many people are put themselves first, they want to get a boat or a house, or you know, and that hurts people so so patience has always been a challenge. For me and many values, do you think that's because of ambition, or do you think that's because you wanted to seem successful in front of other people's eyes? If you really dug deep, i i think it's probably ambition like i. If i want things to happen faster than and it's hard for me to wait for them, you know, and we see a lot of that. A lot of our customers are young entrepreneurs and they're really hungry, to grow their business.

And what is your advice to to? As far as patients and taking a long-term view, i just don't know anything else. My advice is, if you love it, why would you want it to end like? For me, business is my hobby so like when you go on a skiing trip like don't you get sad when it's sunday, when you were looking forward to it, you got there thursday and you skied all weekend for me, that's business. This goes back to my point of people wanting things or wanting to seem successful, instead of actually being about it. For me, patience is a piece of cake.

It's the only thing i want to do. I wish everything slowed down now to your point. I i've had very fast successes in my career because i use self-awareness. I put myself in good positions, but in the macro i'm patient and - and it leads to a lot of mental health when you're not anxious for success.

You're happier and that's where that content comes yeah and enjoying the process, the process of what you need to do, love it like, like everybody, wants to sell their business these days. I never want to sell my business yeah and - and you know i'm with you there, i'm a big believer in passion, um and having passion for what you do. I've never worked at a job or stayed at a job that i wasn't passionate about and that kind of helps you weather the storms and stuff. I mean look at this.

I'm getting paid to interview you right now. How cool is that you know, and - and i also believe in eq - you know i reached out to my speaking bureau vaynerspeaker is my company, my speaking team. After our speech the other day i said hey, the wi-fi was not stable. Where i was, i couldn't get it there.

Can you reach out to them? Maybe we can and look what you know this is. This is actually caring. That's what we're doing right now. It was a perfect example, and that's one of the reasons why i wanted to talk about uh eq today, because your vayner speakers team, you guys demonstrated exactly that and and it was awesome and it does make a difference.

So i know we're running short on time. I just had two quick uh questions. In addition, so the past year and a half uh caused a lot of adversity, but some people in organizations fared better than others. So what is the pandemic pandemic? Taught us all about adaptability and resilience? I think it was just you know, i think it's something we've all known people have talked about being prepared.

For you know it's the mike tyson thing. Everyone's got a plan to get punched in the face. I just think this was the first time for a lot of people that they had to go through it. You know and and to be honest financially, unless you were a business that was incredibly affected by the rules of covid hairdresser, you know bars.

There was no question: a lot of people didn't feel the financial part, because we just printed money, there's a lot of people. This was the greatest vacation of their careers. Oh yeah. I definitely saw that people people currently staying at home on vacation because they're getting paid more in unemployment than to get a job, yeah they're having trouble hiring people.

Because of that, that's right! So that's fine! I mean i'm not i'm not overly worried about socialism. Capitalism, like i think, people get very religious about things they don't fully understand to me. It's just one. Big game of the world will continue to have twists and turns.

Are you in the mental capacity to deal with it good point so um? How do we go about developing our soft skills? Can they be developed, they can be developed? I think the first thing you have to do is acknowledge that they're important it starts there. I just don't think a lot of people watching right now, even think it's important. I think it's foofy or they don't think it's a real thing or they don't even acknowledge like they don't even think in terms of you know, do these things matter like like, and i don't blame them like. I don't know that a lot of people have talked about curiosity or humility or kindness or self-awareness or optimism as like core business.

Tenants they've been flirted around here and there, but to me this is, i think, people thought of them as, like the pepper and the salt. To me, this is the steak yeah you know like being on time or taking good notes or being like that's the salt and pepper, that's the commodity. This is the really matters. Yeah.

Definitely matters. Oh last, question physical health. How does physical health support your ability to be emotionally intelligent because i'd imagine it's hard it's hard to be um empathetic, if you're, sick, yeah, if you're, sick or stressed out, i think that's right. I think that's all right.

I think it's those variables. I think they matter my son's calling me. I got ta grab this. I love it.

Thank you. So much take care youtube bachelor. What's up it's garyvee! First of all, thank you so much. I hope, you're doing super well during these times.

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