Yeah, you don't know how to make money and okay, yeah, you like have a lot of insecurities still and you're not through it yet. You're struggling with depression because your upbringing created a very negative framework of insecurity and happiness and jealousy. That's okay, we're all working through. how many more days, how many more weeks, How many more months? How many more years are you interested in walking around this? Earth Not feeling good? Find more positive people.

find more positive content. You're delusional I Like keeping it real. You keep it real negative. What the is real.

There's no real. there's your reality. Oh man, ladies and gentlemen. Gary Vader Shot good to see you brother.

Thank you Stephen Dude, it's been a year or so since we got to hang out before it has. I apologize I'm sending this link to the Discord so people can join. Let's do it, you know? Um, first of all, thank you! This has been very fun for me, but two podcasts with you have been incredible. The community that that I've been working with just loves your content loves to be with you and so I got some good stuff for you today.

I Can't wait we're gonna dive in. It's been really really a fun Journey Doing this with you dude. let's rock man! So we're gonna start 30 000 up in the air and then we're gonna come right down to the ground at the end and then I got some fun stuff to surprise you with. So mortgage industry is a mess.

Okay coming out of Covid, we had the best years in lending in real estate of all time. Rates drop to the bottom. Incredible Industry went to a four trillion dollar industry overnight and everybody became Superstars right last year. Rude awakening Total Readjustment Back to normalcy.

but now normalcy doesn't feel normal and lots of people lost their jobs. Lots of stuff happened and negativity like it always does in the Press just dominated yes, everywhere. So the first place I Want to start with you on is just you talk a lot about positivity. Yes, but nobody's immune to the bad stuff in life.

It just happens in business. in in like well okay, okay, everything and everything. So if someone's dealing with this Market the chaos the the Press What advice do you have to stay positive? How do you frame up around that? well I think in the context that you just brought this up in like positivity. Um, can't be delusional.

That's a good comment, you know? Yeah, and so for me I'm not looking for some sort of like hope and delusion and fantasy land. but I Also think that positivity needs to be fair. And here's what I mean by that. Um, you know most people are incredibly incredibly naive if they think that their work life needs to be the reality of their positivity.

Meaning, how do I deal with it if you're in this, in the mortgage business and your business is down right now. did you practically save when you had the best two years like did? Yeah? Did you make more money than ever during Covid and then take that money and buy a boat or a goo or 8 000 pieces of Gucci That might have been a bad idea if you didn't understand like well, you know this is kind of like inflated once in a lifetime reality and eventually things are going to normalize and things that go up so fast tend to come down so fast there's that. Then there's also like are you really complaining about having less money? Yeah, because I think you know. The reason I tend to stay positive is I have a really interesting relationship with money which is I didn't grow up with a lot of it I worked from 22 to 34 all the time to build something for my father yeah and mother.

So I wasn't compensated in reality towards the impact I was making and so I lived humbly by the standards of society. Yeah, um, and you know it's not my driving force I've also never spent money to put myself in a vulnerable position. Yeah, and so you know. For example, let's say you did Okay, Cool.

Gary But what about me? Okay, let's talk about you. You had two great years in mortgage life and made a lot more money than ever. And then you decided to sell your house and buy a new house. Absolutely happens all the time.

Story all the time. right? And now you're feeling the pain because you're not making as much money and even the mortgage payments, even at a low rate, absolutely are too much because you went over your skis. I Say to you, if you're my best friend, sell your house, sell your house, and go to a lesser house, sell your house and rent for a little while. Yep, but you know what friends says in that scenario I Don't have the mental strength to go backwards.

That's a very. That's absolutely true, right? I Gary You're my best friend. We've been together, you know Robbie turnick Brandon warnicky I I'm talking about people in my life. Uh, it's not their realities I'm just saying in general: I person don't have the mental strength to go backwards.

Why? Because I flexed well. So my new house bro, It's not just that, right, People's production double tripled and now their production's normalizing. but that's not their identity anymore in their head. they're still the mega Superstar And it is a humble pie.

Once you fall in love with humility, you have a chance of being happy. Yeah, and so you know humility is not at the expense of confidence and ambition. I'm all sorts of confident and ambitious. I Also have the humility to realize I'm not special I Also have the humility and the and the self-confidence to not need outside affirmation.

and so you know when I hear you start this conversation in the context of mortgage professionals who made a ton of money and right now aren't like I don't I struggle with the heavy negativity being a financial situation. Yeah, because if you crushed the last two years, you seemingly have the opportunity to eat a lot of Humble Pie and reset including well. Gary I didn't buy a house? Yeah and so I can't down trade I Bought a lot of stuff. absolutely sell your stuff.

like if you bought an 8 000 handbag. that in hindsight, you wish you had eight thousand sell it for 6 700 on eBay Yep, people want their cake and eat it too. and that's why they have issues I say Lean Into You Know Accountability Yeah and address the situation well. some of the stuff too is.

We kind of move into the next question here. Um, the stuff that drove their success in a great market and even the markets before it aren't working now and there's there's a whole change in the world today. I Mean you've been a big Pioneer of social media, you've been understanding where attention's at. Yep, and so one of my favorite talking points you have is this thing of slow down the macro and speed up the micro.

And people get confused on this because you talk a lot about patients too and they think that means well I should just go slow. Well, for some reason people have decided to turn the word patience into passiveness. That's yeah. Why are they? Why do the two words exist when I say be patient I don't mean lay on your couch and watch TV I mean I'm gonna stand up people don't understand this clip that Dustin So if someone's never heard the Slowdown the macro speed up the micro.

What does that mean? Expand that for a second. your day-to-day like you know I don't know. like we're gonna do this together in real time because I like jamming with you like like you. You even laughed a little bit Julian said I following around like something that was like a five minute transition like this is my calendar.

Yeah, like it's constant. Yeah, and by the way this is. look at these meetings. Just what does that say.

11 to 1105 Five minute meeting 11 05 to 11 30 11 30 11 45 11 45 to 12 1205 to 12 15 12 15 to 12 30. I Did Four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve Thirty I Did 15 meetings before 1 pm today. Okay, so the reason is 15 minutes. so that's speed up your micro.

Your day-to-day go way faster be way more efficient. but macro I'm not in a rush to buy the New York Jets I Love my process. I'm not in a rush to buy a Lambo or a house like everyone needs to really really really really really speed up their day-to-day but slow their skis on their big goals. Enjoy the process.

Don't rush to get the trophy. Yeah, it's my favorite thing when talking to my sales team is you know I'm not having the success I Want I go great. Let me see your calendar. It doesn't look like that.

It doesn't look like that. There's all these Pockets So I mean people like like literally I Had 12 meetings before one o'clock today. Real ones. Real business meetings.

Yeah, to your point, there are people I see people in the chat I know you're going back and forth Yeah, like that. Really? don't have 12 meetings in a week? Yes, and that's okay. This is not judgment. No, it's just commentary.

Yeah, of course it's like by the way I I envy it Sometimes you know I'm a human being. you don't think sometimes in my 19th living by noon I'm like, you know? um yes. I had the DNA that would have been like all about you know a different and by the way, this is why I know it to be true I Can't help it. It's what makes me happy that like I'm almost like the reverse of a lot of people like I kind of like secretly dream about wishing that I was super basic and had happiness in that there's a six-sided It's like I'm romantic about people who have found tremendous happiness and simplicity because I love that I have it mentally but I don't have it actually.

Yeah and so I like that. Now there are some you guys asking if you ask questions and yes you can. Although there's tons of commentary coming in, so we'll do our best to get to some questions. and I do have some special questions at the end.

Um, but I want to keep coming down the channel? Good job we were at. like are you checking this number right now The little push? Yeah yeah. I had to give you a little bit garyvee effect. It's all good.

30 to 12 30 is a good run all right. So I want to hit Come I'm circling on patience with you here. Okay Social media patients instant gratification world we live in. Yes, I mean it's just true.

Everyone wants it now. We want it now all day long. That's called entitlement. So people, especially in my industry now there's waking up to the reality that social media is going to matter.

Okay, and they're trying to find their voice in the game. Makes sense and we talked about this a year ago in the first podcast when it was the The Wine Library TV Clips Yes, all the clips you did that no one cared about did a good job with that. I appreciate that. So I I Find people consistently need some kind of message or encouragement to stay consistent to stay the game When they're not getting engagement, not getting likes, not getting what they think they should get.

I for the I started working out very seriously at 38 and a half I'm like a six-year-old man and a half in there, but it's the truth I was 30 and a half when I started working out consistently I have only for the first time outside of a huge pump on a chest day in the last three months have noticed that I have chest muscles. Yes that like literally will have you know got out of the shower looked like and I'm like wait a minute hey hey holy it's happening, it's happening I'm I am eight nine years into this journey I'm nine years into this journey. Nine years it took me of like real working out to finally have some tiny there's people born with more chest muscle than I have right now. It's true what what I would say is like.

look I don't understand how you don't understand that anything meaningful and good takes real time and effort. Yeah, like I just don't like. Wouldn't it be logical that if it only took nine days or nine months, we got it to get to the top that everyone would do it? Yep, 100 That's hard. Yeah, it's hard.

It's hard. but it's worth it. Love is hard. Worth it, right? Relationship's hard.

Worth it. Like we have to get out of this entitlement. like as if living entitles you for it. you have to work for It Listen I have to work for it like I've had to work I don't have the book here somewhere 12 and a half like I've gotten better because I've leaned into Candor yeah I've had to work at it.

Yeah and you were honest about it I've had to work at it. It's come so not natural to me I still hate it I will always hate it because delivering something negative in theory to someone is like like it kills me but like I don't know what to tell people like it is what it is like. If you would like to have something of meaning you're gonna have to put in a lot of work for a very long time. My whole thing is instead of thinking you're gonna hit a lottery ticket, why don't you do what I do and other people that I admire do which is this is gonna take me 57 years and actually believe it like I have and just sitting it sitting it somebody had a really interesting talk with me the other day who like actually started off by hating me and thinking like oh your parents like was kind of this person like Gary's dad and like somehow met someone that was the uh, his neighbor was like 80 years old and like knew the whole story, like worked with my dad, like knew the story yeah yeah the truth and like broke it down and it kind of got the guy like completely 360 on me and then I ran into the guy at an airport and he like had a few minutes with me and we really talked about.

he's like now that I understand that you actually built the business for your dad in a lot of way or took it to it. Listen my dad built it. my dad is the American dream. Came here with nothing and built a local but but I really did something for my dad and he said to me how did you like really like the reason I never believed it was I just don't believe how a 22 year old will work every day seven days a week for 12 years and have nothing yeah and I was like it wasn't nothing.

you think money's the thing. Yeah you I had satisfaction that I'm gonna go to the Grave giving back to the parents who brought me to this country right? Who built me who loved me, who put a roof like I gave back. giving is the ultimate getting. Yeah, right? So you know when I talk about patience I worked the first 12 years of my career to financially incentivize my parents.

Yeah, so of course I believe in patients I was 34 when I kind of started for myself. Yeah so I think that people are really confused and because I had 57 years when I was 22 and I'm like when I'm 79 I'll get to what I got it and I at 22. Well then all of a sudden you can imagine why 12 years didn't feel like when everyone's like I'm gonna be a billionaire by the time I'm 30. Well no, you're freaking the out at 24.

and you're like that's far from a billion like and I only got six years I'm 47. I'm like chilling I'm like is it halftime? yet like like there's I'm at the two minute warning of the first half. I'm chilling over here. Two great quotes from you.

Reputation is the ultimate currency and social media is grossly underpriced. Attention: Yeah, someone today getting inspired and going okay I get this. I believe in I'm ready and this is more tactical. Like this is coming down a little bit down to the street but like what is going all in Look like today doing the push-ups today you decided that you want to check a check right? Yes.

and I would say drop to the floor and do a good push-up In the version that you're asking, it means take your phone, flip it over and talk about something you know or you're passionate about. Yes, something you know or something you're passionate about. You want the framework of success, Something you know I will talk about wine or the Jets or something you're passionate about. Be nice to each other.

No passion, no passion, no passion. and do that. as many times as you humanly can. Good until the end and you've talked about um it's irrelevance.

Think about good enough. Well what is good enough right? Like to your point you don't know this is back to loving yourself. You don't know you're good enough until you do it. Yeah yeah I mean look but to your point.

So I had a really good friend who picked up the camera and started to get in the game and I'm and he's a tremendous professional. He's got it all down like he doesn't and he's good looking too. It's like you guys all of it. it's got it all of it and a buddy of his gave him gave him crap and said dude this isn't you and he called me up and he goes is it not me and I don't think he my answer he didn't like it right away because I said of course it's not you you're so uncomfortable it's not you yet it's not that you you me hanging out having a beer like and and now I watch him dude he's relaxed, he's on it says and it's it's real raps.

What thing on earth have people not gotten better at after they've done it a good trillion times? Yeah cap yeah but like you like I just I don't I you know even with Dustin go back to so I love that and go back to what Dustin just said like I don't want anybody to judge if they're good enough at it. But to his point, one of the things that people like you know that whole thing of like the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and not and expecting a different result. Yeah, like people like Garyvee I made 1700. This happens sometimes I've made 1700 videos and I'm still getting 49 views I'm like yo we just talked about it.

You know, like we should talk about this like you've proven to me and yourself and the world that you're not interesting at this. right now, you're not bringing value to people whether you know and value comes in all shapes. Modeling is an amazing thing. You were born and you were valuable.

like like right. Awesome. Look, by the way, you still have to work at it I Love when people are like, like if you were naturally attractive and you do not eat well and do not work out, it's going to be okay. exactly.

Uh, you are naturally funny. Yes. but I think all of us have watched documentaries on comedians where it's very clear, no different than what you just said that they needed a lot of ref. yeah in small comedy shops before they became.

Kevin Hart That's right, and there's layers. You get coaching. You get. you learn how to.

Yes, there's layers to all this stuff, but this is a good question. I Want to. hit this one because it's in line. How do you succeed in doing videos on things you know are passionate? If somebody else is already in and succeeding at it, nobody else is winning is coming out of yours.

If that was true, the game was over a long time ago. That's right. Why did LeBron try to pass? Kareem Oh, Kareem was the all-time leading scorer? Yeah, like why is Kevin Hart doing that? Eddie Murphy did that already? But why did Eddie Murphy do that? Richard Pryor Already did. Yeah, What are we talking about here this? Con Excuses like that and notice the word I Used excuses like that are just people that are scared to do the thing and fail on.

Merit They feel better that somebody already took it. The world is abundant. If you're good enough, no matter how much is already taken, you can get yours too. I Wasn't the first person to talk about kindness I was the first person to talk about work I wasn't the first person to talk about technology that is a ludicrous point of view and I come from a place of compassion.

when I use that statement, that person needs to realize that's a subconscious excuse to not do yeah, and it's better to blame that. Oh, they didn't get lucky somebody already did it versus them having to put in the work to do it. Did I get the same? Vibe and I Talk to people because there's I'm I'm on video and I'm I'm big on video I have a lot of I'm loud I'm wearing costumes I do a lot of weird stuff and then there's the engineer who's sitting down and explaining line by line through a complicated mortgage document. Both those people have tremendous audience capacities.

Huge and they're needed. Sometimes you need to escape and be entertained to learn I fall in that category Yeah I Want to entertain to trick you into the thing? Yes, yes, other times people need a little. people come at me all the time they're Gary Any more details So when I put out the dollar eighty strategy or even that little thing I just did the reason I did it three times. I'm like oh, that's a little bit more tangible able that I normally go either talk about something you know or something you're passionate about.

that's like that will land for some people it will and like to your point. like it all comes in all shapes and sizes. Some people really like to read 800 pages of the technical person I would die but you would not survive. but God no no die.

If somebody wants you right now, you have to read these 800 pages of electrical engineering and if you don't you'll die. I'm like just kill me right now. All right. So I did something fun.

Uh, with my community, you know Gary Lots of people want to access to you and you know you're busy. Um and you love Q A I've seen with this stuff. so I asked um some of my buddies on the internet if they have a question for you I love it. Record it.

Let's do it. I'll play it and so I got some people that jumped in. Let's go. so let's let's hit you some questions.

What happened to daily Vlogs And do you see them making a comeback in 2023? Great question. Yeah my boy, we're filming one right now. Yeah I do see it coming back I Don't know if you heard but there was this thing called Covid. I'm weird.

yeah Google it c-o-v-i-d it was a thing. it happened. it kind of up the flow. uh.

but I think we'll be back and I expect by 2024. I mean I'm I can sense myself getting close by the way you get out of practice. That's true dust. How many things have I said I don't want to film? That would have been insane I would have been upset if you didn't film three years ago.

True. Really? out of practice Yeah Out of practice you just got to get back into practice. But yeah I think I think we are going to be more than bad daily. B So you think the blog space personal blog space is going to start? that people should pay attention to that? potentially for their own business and branding and marketing efforts.

Yeah, documenting over creating I mean it's everything Yeah. I Like it all right. Let's this one's a long-winded question. I Tried to close it down, but here we go: Three years in as a full-time real estate agent I sell about 26 houses per year.

The bulk of my leads comes from leads delivery platforms like Realtor.com Op City where you get the leads for free up front, but then you have to pay a 35 referral fee out of your commission once you've closed the deal on the back end. So I'm in like the top one and a half percent in the Midwest region I do very well with this model I've incubated my business but I want to go to the next level where I get more customers on my own I don't have to pay that fee on the back end I pay up front I invest early on and I try to get the leads on my own. so I either have to create the content myself and sort of cowboy and figure out how to deploy that concept properly or I can use a website company that can provide me an Idx fed website. They can create the the Google search queries and Facebook ads.

they can Contour uh, landing pages specific to those search queries and ads and bring in the leads so that I can focus on closing deals. It costs about thirteen hundred dollars a month to do this, and with the uncertainty in our current market economy, what's going on in the next six to eight months I don't know. Is this the right time to to throw the money at it and have a company do it for me? or should I be sort of holding onto my budget and try to be a little bit more frugal? Learn how to Cowboy it and try to snowball on my own. Uh, obtaining leads? That's my question.

Both are fine by me. I'd prefer him do it himself because I learn a lot more. Yeah, the math that I just read at 1300 bucks a month, 35 percent commission on one deal in theory on like an average house puts you in the math. People are funny.

Yeah, people are funny. well and when I when I heard that from my boy, it's I think there's a space for both. but I also think like you do this a lot too. you got to play in the in the in the meat to figure it out.

Yes, the dirt matters like you gotta. You gotta make your own videos and publish your own stuff and watch and learn how to do it. What's interesting about him if you think about it, he's like really interested in giving up economics to not do a certain thing. which is okay, but there's a lot of people like that.

Of course, that's why we have plastic surgery. there's a reason Lipo happens. You don't want to do the four years of the gym and eating healthy you don't want to put in the work. Yeah, which is fine, by the way.

He might be right. It might be worth the Arbitrage Yeah I Think the problem is is okay. it's 35 commission. Now here's the problem.

when you don't have the leverage? Yeah, what happens to that guy when Realtor.com tomorrow says it's 50? That's right. What's he gonna say? I Guess it is I Guess it's 50 now. I Don't like that game when someone else has the Leverage Bad things happen and as this economy squeezes Amazon and Google and Realtor.com and Zillow and everybody else is going to say well, we don't like our numbers, You know what we're going to do. we're gonna take a bigger piece of the cut.

Yep, and everybody who's been sucking off that teat is gonna swallow it because they have no leverage because they didn't build their own moat. Well, and this goes. Whoever is closest to the customer has the leverage. Yeah, you've been saying that for for it feels like Decades of my life.

And figuring out how to get in that strategy zone for yourself for your own voice is the chord on controlling your own destiny. Otherwise, someone's gonna control it for you. Everyone's like social media the algorithm like you don't even pay for it. You don't pay for all this captive audience and it's like it's like I'm like what? Like you? you're happily paying 35 commission to Realtor but you're mad that the algorithm is Shadow Banning you nobody's Shadow Banning you You just suck at content Yes, get better learn watch videos.

That's my favorite thing. The shadow band I've been Shadow band I've been chat I'm getting Shadow banned. No, you're not. You stink.

All right. let's go here. This is an interesting question. Carl I Met this guy through NFC community and Twitter when Twitter turned into the Nft community, it was an amazing period of time.

Um, so this is going to have some layers to it. Okay, thank you so much for giving me this great opportunity to be able to come onto your show and ask the one and only. Gary Fay Nerd Chuck what I believe to be such an important question being a foster care? Advocate This is actually a two-part question Gary Uh, so let's just jump right into it. Gary What piece of advice do you give kids? uh, especially to those in foster care who will be aging out with no one in their Corner uh, pretty much no support system? The second half of that question: how and where can they access resources people? pretty much mentorships coming from such a disadvantaged place in order to nurture that an entrepreneurial Spirit again Alec thank you and Gary thanks so much Uh, for taking the time to answer this.

Carl I Think this is one of my favorite questions. I'm a big believer that the perceived negative is actually the positive. Yeah, so let's break it down: I believe that the world is actually in people's Corner way more than we think and I'm very aware of like you know, racism anti-Semitism Yeah, like real separation of wealth There's real stuff. But humans.

day-to-day humans are actually remarkable. Like remarkable people like like 90 of the 8 billion like have General good intent or at least somewhat neutral. And if you give them any reason to have compassion, they'll go there. Yeah.

So for example, the perceived disadvantage is the advantage. Million emails Really like 10 to 50 000, but 10 emails a month a year? Yeah, a lot. saying. help me, give me time, Help me.

Give me time. If if I saw a titled email like I was brought up in the foster care system, can you give me five minutes to talk? there's a far higher likelihood that I'll say yes to that yeah than me. It was like hey, Gary You know it's just like yeah, bro. no.

I Think that the world collectively agrees that coming up the foster care system is a really, really challenging starting point to a life. Yeah. I Would argue that I've met at least a half a dozen to a dozen people at this point. Just you know, not a lot, but plenty.

Yeah, to have an observation that for many of them, it's a tremendous Advantage because of the chip on the shoulder and I would argue some of them have been fortunate enough to have multiple people in their corner. People like you meet people, right? Many people wish they didn't have their parents in their corner. All he's really saying is they didn't have parents. Many people actually lost by growing up with bad parenting.

That's not good comment, right? So who's worse, who's better. And so what I would say is the the reality is is that narrative is going to capture most people's heart. Most people today in 2023 if you say to them I grew up in a middle class family but my mom was or my dad was X Y and Z and I'm deeply insecure. They'd be like, all right, it'll be like a kind of like a quick two-minute Converse like that's something.

Okay, at least you were middle class, you weren't poorer, they'll go somewhere. Meanwhile, the person that's deeply insecure knows how bad that was. Yeah and like, can't function in society meanwhile you tell anybody hey, I grew up in the foster care said you have deep compassion, deep default support ready to support. So I think I think that's what's interesting about these kind of conversations and I I think the where do they go I think they DM and reach out to people.

Yeah, and they say I grew up in the foster care system you have 10 minutes for me and I think they're gonna get a lot more yeses than they think Mark Cuban is going to say yes to that email more likely than the normal one. Yeah I believe that Oprah is going to say yes to that one but like you can shoot for the stars and it goes back to the Reps DM for the answer to every question is DM 4000 people direct message 4 000 people and get three people to say yes but you know what happens, they don't want to DM 4 000 people yeah or they DM me once I don't reply and they're like you, you run that YouTube you said to the bro I didn't see it exactly. Come on a little bit of it. Drock asked for his job seven times or three times.

Right? Like just YouTube you applied more than what right? twice not bad. Uh, you know, like but like but you know how many people stop at one everyone people wouldn't start. they stop at zero. Yeah.

I I Want to hit this a little deeper because I loved how you framed it. You know your story is your superpower. I've watched people who said I I can't I don't speak English well the second language and they don't want to get videos. They don't need videos because their English is broken in their mind I'm so empathetic for that because my parents no question stayed more private in their lives because they were embarrassed of their accent.

It was a very common 80s 90s thing. but I've watched this: I've watched some of these people turn that into their superpower because there's a billion people that English is their second language and they go. So all of a sudden this person who's putting themselves out there in a position of vulnerability becomes somebody they can connect with and that the know you like, you trust, you think builds and then that's what they want to do business with. Everybody wins on their uniqueness and everyone's insecure about their uniqueness.

Yes, yes, say it again. For those in the back, everybody wins on their uniqueness, but everyone's insecure of their uniqueness. Like the thing that you're like everyone people haven't figured out like this thing we grew up with back in the day of like normal doesn't exist. Who's what's normal like your interests, your circumstances, your disabilities, your learning disabilities, your challenges.

If you like magic, the Gathering cards. what about you know the Dungeons and Dragons with deep like all this friend did I have that like you know, actually spilled hot tea on myself when I was five and don't have any markings and it was like really inner thought like it was really sky was in hospital for two days. I Don't talk about it a lot actually. not sure I've ever talked about it but because that happened and like it I got very fortunate that's what I was always told as a kid like this cream in a blue bottle.

it worked and like magic cream and I was like oh my God the Russian thing and like and so like I always thought I was so lucky but that made me super hypersensitive to kids that burnt themselves uh and had like big scars in her arms or her waist and her. Meanwhile, if you have like a big burn Scar from like tea all over your arm right now, that is actually your unique point of differentiation. Yeah, and the hundreds of thousands of people that also have a burn mark that may want to buy a house or may want to buy wine or may want to like like like like your thing is your thing, you know people I'll give you another one I always I don't know why this always caught my attention. People that have birthmarks oh yeah that are very substantial, especially like in their hair or on their face.

these are strengths I get that you especially if you're my age where like picking on people was like just currency. Yes, like whatever you were just saying. you know, like and you know now there's more compassion but it's different and it's done in a different way but it's the same. um you know I just think it's a place of strength and we need to teach people those uniquenesses are a place of strength.

Yeah, it is. Well, look dude. first of all, thank you Lynch says unfortunately everyone bring that up. Yep, gotcha.

But Blanche just focus on the people that are as nice as me because there's a lot of people like that. Yeah, so many people will sit and spend all their energy being upset about the one person that's making them feel unhappy in class or in their family or at their workplace. instead of the 37 people that are sitting in the other side of the house cheering for them and trying to help them. Yeah, they put all their energy on that.

Instead of the reverse, we tend to look for the negative instead of the overwhelming positive. Yep, that means it's work on you. You need to do that work. This is not about people being nice or not nice.

This is about your ability to find the nice versus dwelling on the not nice. Yeah, yeah, and it's worth it. I can speak from a position of you know I was heavily bullied growing up and coming through that and finding my own voice has been an amazingly, uh, deep freedom because I just I just I I don't understand me I still care I don't like it when someone's mean to me I don't like when someone talks I don't like what someone hurts much I'm Still Human everyone's human even I Yeah, I'm like super power at this point. Yeah, but here's one.

Go deeply, deeply, quickly into a feeling bad for them and Watch What Happens Yeah, change the narrative. People don't get it Right now we're fighting hate with hate. which is why everything sucks for so many people. but yet there's plenty that's great and you know where it's great.

It's when people have hate thrown at them. they combat back with compassion. Yep, when you throw compassion at hate, when you when you throw sympathy at hate, when you throw empathy at hate when you throw up, you know what's one that I don't talk a lot about I when I'm thrown with hate I default into appreciation that I'm not widered that way. Oh, I Go into gratitude I'm so grateful that I don't spend my time and energy trying to tear down others at all costs.

That is like beautiful. How do you accomplish so much? Gary by not focusing on other people? Yeah, like Leonardo DiCaprio's relationship status does not up my life. Yeah, 100 like Christ already. So hey, we're hitting our our time.

We are. Yeah we're 40 already. we're cranking bro. you know, keep going.

Okay, well no. so like we we hit a Leonardo DiCaprio It was good. It was good I was watching people like stop care stop worry about your life for a minute. Go do some push-ups.

We had a lot of ground today. you know we talked about patients, positivity and compassion, all these fun things um there I Just love for you to speak to the group here from what's on your heart. just kind of whatever message you got because here's my here's my drive and maybe you could bring board off this please I I wake up inside when I find people letting go of the and putting themselves out there to make real human connections like it's a buzz for me and I've when people get on video and they finally start to realize there's an opportunity for them and their voice matters and they get. Maybe it's a little bit of that affirmation because when I was bullied now I confirmed somebody else all that stuff's there but you were an unlock for me.

Five four or five years ago walking having a coffee in the morning and you say the same stuff all the time. but it was the right time. it was the right time and I went all in on social I started all in I said you know this, this matters and if I want to be the leader I want to be I gotta I gotta be in there too I can't just tell people to do it I gotta try to play the game too and I went all in and so it was a great unlock and it changed the trajectory of my career and my relationships and life and all the fun things. So what message you have to other people right now that might be ready for the same step? Boy oh boy.

Yeah, you know, since that kid that told you those things I think the last five or six years have evolved quite a bit into my conviction about the Simplicity of this all. What do I want to say to everybody? Please use this moment, this sound clip, this video. However, you're live right now for the thousand people on here 850 now. Um, sorry we lost somebody.

Um, it was. Leo Leo Coming. Stop beating yourself up. Let me tell you why every other person on Earth sucks to stop putting people on pedestals.

Don't put your older brother on a pedestal just because he seemingly has his together and is winning. That that doesn't mean you suck because I promise you, if you poke hard enough, that older brother that seemingly has all his together has fears too, has hurt too, is struggling too. right? Stop putting other people in a pedestal. Not celebrities, not your parents, not anyone.

That doesn't mean don't have like warm Affinity towards yeah, That doesn't mean you can't admire. Of course that doesn't mean you can't enjoy. That doesn't mean you can't grasp and learn from. But don't put someone on such a pedestal that it makes you feel lesser than.

Yep. right? Start. And and more importantly, start really leaning into what you are versus what you're not. Yeah, I'm thinking about a lot of people in my life right now who are just so fixated on what they're not instead of realizing they're incredibly loyal.

Yeah, they're wildly well intended. They are super great at music. They are a tremendous friend. They are great at cooking.

Okay, yeah, you don't know how to make money and okay, yeah, you like have a lot of insecurities still and you're not through it yet. Okay, yeah, like you're You're struggling with depression because your upbringing created a very negative framework of insecurity and happiness and jealousy. That's okay, we're all working through, you know. I like had a poison pill in my body While I thought I was winning everything it was called lack of Candor yeah, cruising.

winning by all of your standards. lack of candor created the only people on earth that could walk around and not like me because I wasn't cancerous to them. Yeah, and I went from the power position of them up to I'm up because I wasn't candorous. Yeah, right.

So there's a lot to this. But like most of all, what am I gonna say? The second you start loving yourself for real is the second you'll start doing the we're talking about here. You're not gonna do if you're scared. Promise you that if you think you're a piece of, you're not making a single video.

Not One zero? Yeah. And so it's time. It's time enough. Like how many more days, How many more weeks? How many more months? How many more years are you interested in walking around this? Earth and not feeling good? Find more positive people.

Find more positive content. Realize what I'm telling you is not an illusion. You're delusional I Like keeping it real. You keep it real negative.

Yeah, can you keep it real? There's no real What's what the is real. There's no real. There's your reality. You don't get it.

of course. I Don't get it. That's your life. You don't get mine.

Don't you don't get mine? I Don't get yours. cool. Now What are we in a philosophical standstill? Because the next day, life's gonna happen right? Like I Love the debate. Like everyone's debating and everyone's asking everyone to do things.

That's also, is there something else I Want to leave with: Stop telling everybody in the world to do you do they should. The government should. My boss should. my wife should.

my husband should. My kids should. My teacher should. My boss should like everyone should.

What about you? What are you doing? Yeah, Turn it on. They people are infatuated with that. How about taking the word they out of your mouth and saying? I How about that? You want a good piece of advice, get where they out of your mouth on something you want accomplished and go into. I change your life.

You hate politicians, Become one yeah and win your race. Win Win It Be The Mayor Fix it. Don't like how people are parenting that kid over across the way. just focus on parenting your kid.

Don't tell them what to do, they're not going to listen to you anyway. I'm not gonna hey Mr Jones I Don't like the way you're doing through son Ronnie Tell him to keep his bike off. You worry about your kids. That's how you're gonna fix it.

That's that. Gary First of all, thank you for continuing to be a loud megaphone in the space in the world we need it I Love this conversation I had so I Can't wait to go watch it again and get all things I missed because I'm trying to you know, support people and yeah, yeah! I love the engagement in the community. You also had some other questions I'm going to do something really nice I'm gonna have you send my team those questions and I'm gonna do some split screen answers and put it out on Twitter yeah or even Instagram if it's real good. Yeah okay so keep filling up the questions guys.

Hey Gary thank you. Can we do two? SEC Can we go back to the live chat because I always love that I Just want to read a couple things in there. just want to see what people are like thinking about or what they're resonating to like. the instant you know the instant feedback is just something like I Always am curious by that.

It's very fun to watch everybody jumping in and just taking some positivity into the world. Go back to that one. I Suck at sales? That's great Tony There's no need to be great at it like some people are good at. someone.

Hire someone who does sales you might be great at Ops I Know unlimited people. You know unlimited people that are great at sales. Yeah, that don't have a good business. Yep, because they can't operate out of a paper bag.

Yep, you you like that one. It's just real, right? They can sell their ass off good and if you don't know where the money went, you can't find it. Who gives a how much you sold like if you don't like like people have strengths and weaknesses Yep this is this is my uh, this is my boy Brayden Hey Braden How do you learn to love yourself? That's A that could be another two two day podcast and we'll give these these questions dude. I'll send them by realizing the reason you don't love yourself is that you listen to somebody else.

You want to real answer this question I'm giving it to you hatch the Re: You learn to love yourself because you take a huge step backwards and realize the reason you don't love yourself is that you listened to someone else. normally a mother, a father, a grandparent, a sibling or a spouse or relationship. Normally one of those 10 people pound you out of their own hurts so much that you believed them and it became your own. Yep, it's the truth.

It's the truth and we have to. We have to have like the better combo. That's what I'm about right now I'm like okay I got about another 50 here. yeah I'm 47 in I'd like to get to a hundo but I'll take anything in the 90s on the record of God um on the record uh I gotta for the next 43 to 50 years get as much of this out of like the real enough of like like let's call it what it is.

yeah there was. There's a lot of hurt people and they hurt their kids without even realizing Yeah, it's not like your mom woke up and like I can't wait to up Johnny tonight. No yeah, they don't even realize they're doing it. Yeah, they're doing it like this.

Don't trust anyone out there. That's right right? Johnny don't trust any of those videos. They're gonna try to hurt you because they got hurt and all of a sudden Johnny's like oh and most kids I got very fortunate when I got met with that and people have influence in my life. it was too late.

I had the natural DNA in my mom's first five or six years of parenting put me in a place of like I didn't believe that when grown-ups including family members or teachers or other people of Authority or had leverage with me when they were saying the world's bad I'm like you're stupid and I was at like 11. I Remember actively believing that yep, family members tell and all my family members came from Russia so they really like were cynical and sad and hurt and I'm like at the time I was like you're stupid notice what I said you're stupid now I'm like oh my God I feel so bad for the aunts and uncles you grew up in Russia of course you believe that everybody. yeah it was the one it wasn't about. it was like it was scary like Russia was like North Korea people don't get it.

yeah you can leave. it was a jail anyway. look my friend, you gotta go Yeah I know you do. If you're keep at guys keep throwing in questions I'll get them over to Gary's team.

he'll have a field day with it. but thank you dude it's been a great time together. I Appreciate you so much for being such an iconic podcast. Panther Um, it's been a lot of fun.

It's been great to be with your community and I felt like today's we touched on some really good stuff I liked it I Loved it I Kind of want to like I think we're gonna get like 25 clips from it. You're gonna be in a lot of content. All right my friends. Thank you! Wonderful day Foreign.