My big thing is someone else's victories are not my losses. Like this scarcity mindset thing is fascinating. In sports, you play a game. someone wins someone lose.

that's why I Love it. It's so absolute. But in life like not games, 7,000 DJs could be winning. Plus every DJ's winning is different.

Attention is the number one asset. Podcast with friends is live episode two of the show I'm excited about this one because I think for the audience that's listening, you're about to meet three new friends. Some of you may know some of them, some of you may know all three which I would love. First big shout out to Twitch Again, if you're listening to this podcast, we are now also doing this live on Twitch all the time and so I'd need to give a quick couple of shout outs.

Oh bird UK is on which is always nice. Big vriend Community member T Walsh giving Boyd love you know T Walsh If you have any problems working for Boyd put it out here in the twitch. uh comments I'm going to allow all three of our friends uh to introduce themselves and then we're just going to talk about a bunch of stuff. But one thing I do need is boy uh Boyd go out there and tell them I need some be friends packs for our friends and some of the swag on the table Dustin I Thought you guys were going to have like changing it up.

No no no. Anyway, let's do this. Why don't you say hello to everybody? Tell everybody who you are and what you do. Hi everyone I'm Ashlyn Harris I'm a newly retired professional Prof athlete uh, spent all my Years playing soccer yes quite successfully I You're going to be humble now.

Please please give a little bit more juice for the people that don't know because it's not that simple. You truly are one of the like. It's one thing to be like we're tired a it's another thing to be like actually one of the best at what you did kind of thing. So go a little bit like we're I'm giving you the permission to be a hairless humble because really one of thing just to let you know and more importantly the AUD or equally importantly the audience cuz this is new for me.

I've always loved the idea of getting different people together from different genres like in real life like this is how I like to have dinner totally you know, like one conversation and I just think this is a fun podcast strategy for me because for example us like like I want more I'm so stretched so like this allows me to like spend more time with more people and more importantly I want my audience to be a renaissance man and woman. meaning I think one of the things that's lacking is curiosity and expansion you know and I think like what I'm excited about is I know over the course of the next five years that this podcast will be listened to millions of times obviously a lot upfront. and then long tail Yeah and uh I want people to know who you you guys are? you're a sweetheart So please go. ah, hair a little less hi I'm Ashlin Harris retired professional soccer player two-time Women's World Cup champion uh one of the plaintiffs who fought for equal pay in women's soccer and kind of spiraled worldwide.

So uh yeah, that's kind of my. that's a better St was that better? Thanks for giving me I needed that Li Clark um my name is Will Clark I from the UK DJ producer podcaster much it and Andy late edition we had somebody who got sick and I was like you know what this is fun like even when something gets thrown as a curveball I've always got real friends in the office doing unique things so for a lot of you listening and watching Andy K who some of you know but I I'm curious to see how he introduces himself and then we'll get into the show. Andy Krak I'm the President of V Friends I've had the privilege of working with Gary for almost a decade now. Started as an intern for his book jab jab jab right Hook and now I'm on the second episode of Podcast with Friends as a substitute uh, Twitch Famam because I want to really give you some incredible access.

One of Cu I've never done podcast live before I'm going to allow for you to ask questions only about halfway through shows where you have context. so please be listening and feel free to jump in, put put hashtag question, and put your question. I'll rely on my incredibly good-looking producers here to like figure out what they want to throw at me ad hoc. but let's go back around the table so these are always very timely.

Um, in the US we just had Thanksgiving But even if you know you were not in the US celebrating Thanksgiving I'm curious for all three of you and we'll go back around the same way as we're wrapping up the year 2023. What was the thing that you most learned about yourself? Wow, that's such a great question. Um, what? I Learned about myself, especially now going through a ton of therapy is, uh, really prioritizing me and putting myself first and my needs, my wants, Feeling comfortable in that? Yeah, Just like really. for so long it's been about other people.

I have two young kids um I Recently separated from my ex-wife so there's just so much change going on. Yeah. so I've been prioritizing myself, which in the end is going to make me a better mom, a better human, a better friend I I Believe in it tremendously. I Genuinely believe the best way to be selfless is to be selfish.

Yes I genuinely believe that. It's why. I Like entrepreneurship I'm very aware that some people may demonize it like that's bad, but like I actually think like if you can't scratch your itch or if you can't be happy like it's very clear to me that unhappy people make others unhappy and happy people make happy people happy. Like it's uncomfortably clear and it's tough to say out loud like I'm going to be selfish to be selfless but I actually have never seen anyone capable of selflessness unless they were in an incredible Place Well it's like what are you working for as well.

It's like the the the the bigger goal is what is the end goal of all of it. and I think it's very easy to like, just get caught in the rat race and just like work, work, work, work, do this, do that, do that, and then you forget the actual why you doing this and and I think it's like so pick us up did you what did you learn this year I think that's the thing is like the why it's like it's very easy to just keep working. that was your year this year. like you got more into why yeah good yeah.

and do you feel like all of us? I'm sure all of us and everybody's watching everyone's going to listen like there you know at some level you wake up somewhere in your adulthood and you realize why am I still stuck in high school? Like why am I still in a place where other people's validation is the currency of my thinking. yeah yeah I think I Think it's also the why can change and actually like allowing yourself to change like the reason why you're doing it and things can happen in your personal life that can affect your work life and then it's and then completely switches everything. It's like what you were saying going through therapy, going through divorces, breakups and everything like that. All of that can change and realistically, we will do what we love, which actually adds into our real life.

It is our real life. It's not work and life, it's life is all of it. Yeah I'm I'm a big fan of what you're saying like I just I think the world is obsessed with or and black and white and I'm just like that there's no mapping to the way. that's not how it's all gray.

Yeah, cuz it's too circumstantial. I love when people spew like listen I live on the internet spewing things I'm passionate about. but I don't think I'm right I Think these are perspectives that I'm observing and I'm hopeful that for someone in a stream that moment, this topic could bring value. Yeah, but I think everyone's spending time trying to convince everybody to see the world World they way they see it and it's just like it's just not the way it is.

No, not at all. So for you, this was a Big Y year. Yeah, and did you, come to any interesting conclusions? No, not really. What about? What about? no I think I think it's a forever game.

What about a running hypo? What was a fun observation that you got out of it I think for me it was like especially like taking it very to like my career. It's like there's space for everybody in I got it. So where you're going is I don't need to compare myself. exactly Got it? Yeah, exactly that.

I Love that you went there like by the way. I'm obsessed with that like you're winning all the time and that's for damn sure. First of all, I Love you. Let's go I Love that.

First of all, we're going to end this podcast right now. Thank you for watching Twitch. Thank you for list but one's my big thing is someone else's victories are not my losses like this scar. City mindset thing is fascinating.

as if someone else winning in you know Sports you play a game, someone wins someone lose. that's why I Love it. It's so absolute. but in life like not games like 7,000 DJs could be winning.

plus every DJ's winning is different Mhm you? uh we're building an intellectual property Pokemon and Marvel or in Nft land the web 3 land, Bard ape or peguins or Cool Cats I want them to win I Don't think them winning means that V friends can't nothing Pokemon Marvel Hello Kitty Gi. Joe Transformers My Little Ponies and every other like Harry Potter None of that is stopping me from achieving what I want. Well I guess. Also say the more they win, the more it brings people to the market.

That's EXA First of all, that's absolutely right. Like like you know who? what in your world what really pisses me off is when someone is a Pioneer in a genre. Yeah and then it leads to more I I'll think about EDM cuz I'm old I'm 48 so watching that whole scene happened was very clear. I watched it similar to hip-hop but I was a kid when like EDM was like okay I like really understood what was happening.

oh this is a genre. Oh oh this is what Aichi means to this like this is cool. That's like run the MC like I understood watching people pioneer something win, Other people follow at scale and then those people are mad at the people that created the thing because they think like that that always. you should be thanking them, not envious of them if you weren't good enough which is what it is, that's all it is.

people or not willing to work hard enough. That's right, which is part of good. like work. You know when hustle became like a word I couldn't say anymore slang turned it into burnout I was like cool I won't use that work ethic yeah like I promise you I know all three of you in different ways.

Nobody's at this table without work ethic. It just doesn't work that way. Nobody just hopes their way. No one's cutting Corners It It doesn't happen like I think people work hard and don't achieve things materialistically.

But I have met very few people who don't have a sense of pride of their work ethic. One of my favorite people on paper is someone who didn't have entrepreneurial Spirit didn't have an X Factor by the way, didn't even want to have an x- Factor Just takes incredible I have many people in my circles whose number one pride is that they've worked their face off like a 9 To5 but they put their kids through school. Yeah, in a world where their parents didn't and they're good MH they're like and now I'm just going to bowl and drink beer I'll I'll see you. On the flip side, well, it circles back around to the why.

Well that's it. Well this is what gets me into, like desperately trying to redefine success like one of my pet projects to the day. I Die is to change the conversation around success. Success cannot be money and stuff.

It's why so many people. AR Happy Mhm. Success needs to be understanding yourself and finding that place of Peace cuz you're just in your process whatever that is. How do you get there though? how did you get there? I got there by luck and and I don't throw around lucky I I hate that word I hate it cuz people weaponize it against people that work hard I worked hard but you have to understand I will say luck here because at 6 years old I gravitated towards 90-year-old people at the park in Queens I think I believe in old souls I believe in some people just born with wisdom I cannot tell you why at 7 8 years old seems simple for me I Can't Tell You Why at 10 years old I decided to not be good at school anymore cuz I realized it didn't matter I can't tell you why I moonwalked through high school cuz I never and I mean ever have felt peer pressure right or a need to fit in? Yeah I had really, really good DNA and I had a worldclass mother who found super balance between building self-confidence but not creating entitlement or softness.

So like you know it's why I kind of don't give a about me yeah like one of the reasons I just walk around and like I'm aware that people think I'm cool and I understand how many followers I have I understand what's happening to me I don't associate with it at all I'm obsessed with what people that actually really have known me for a long time and people that are getting I'm UPS I like care way more what you two now think of me in an hour than I did an hour ago MH I'm obsessive about people that really know me what they think because my validation comes from people viewing me as a nice person. Yeah, Mhm. But as far as like the things that most people know me for, that's just not where my validation sits. Yeah and I think that just that's C There's a lot of circumstances went into it in the first 20 years and then somewhere around 4 35 I'm like wait a minute.

Yeah, Like it started becoming clear to me. I'm like I'm telling everybody what to do in business. No one's doing it. Wait a minute.

They're scared to do it. Why wait a minute. Why are they scared? Wait a minute. Yeah, grown-ups still think it's high school.

For someone who didn't think high school was high school, that's what got me down the journey. If you look at my content, it evolved. Yeah yeah. it started with like tactical like, do this on Twitter and it will work and then I was like why is no one doing it and then it started getting into this.

which is why I'm so happy that human beings now can say out loud therapy where 40 years ago you could it? Yeah, so true. You're going to a psychiatrist. You're crazy. Now it's like we're just 20 years away from people going to therapy the way we go to school school.

Yeah, and that's good. Yeah it will be good going back on the success thing. How do you cope with that? From being extremely successful in your career, to then retiring and being like what? My favorite subject of athletes? really? Yeah, because I have a sports agency? Yeah and and I grew up obsessive about sports MH and I think you're asking an incredible question I'm so happy and I grew up my whole life wishing I was an athlete but being thrilled that I settled into being an entrepreneur cuz I got a little taste of it. but then as I got older I'm like these people.

they found their especially the one you. You know this. Some people are athletes that really love their sport, others are completely indifferent. It's their way to financial success or to get out.

that was a brain. yeah. but for the ones that love it. Yeah, the idea of being in your 30s.

Yeah, if everything goes remarkable in your and now with modern medicine and training, maybe you're 40 if you're one of the greats of all time in whatever sport. but like, most likely late 20s, early 30s. By the way, if you're in the 1% yeah, you know, like and then you're such a young woman right now I just turned 38 I played a long career but you're a child. Yeah, like real talk I know you live the real life.

You got a lot going on, you got kids, but Real Talk 38 is like especially got like the way lot more to like. Honestly, you're probably going to live for a minimum of 62 more years. Well, I hope so so. but just think about.

but think about that for a second. That's insane. You've lived like a real full like life mhm and yet you're a third in. so scary to think that way and epic.

Yeah, it's pretty cool. you have like another. PR Let's say for instance, you stop work, you retire at 60, 5, 70 you've got a whole new life to do. What the I mean for me I Loved like soccer was not who I was.

it's what I did. yeah but at some point your body takes such a toll and it affects your mental health so much like it just started to get hard to get out of bed. You know, like people don't realize how how much like especially women's sports I have no pension I walked away years I have no I don't have four 1ks I don't like I have by the way. by the way, men's sports are not so great either.

like but at least they make millions of dollars where they. but you know what's funny if you're at the top right? Yeah, like like real talk like the NFL yeah America's most popular sport two and a half year average. not long. most guys are out of money after five years.

I Like because by the way, unless you go in the first. R If so, the way football works is your real money comes in your second contract which is the fourth or fifth year of your career. Almost everybody's out after two and a half. And if you don't go in the first or second round.

which don't forget, if you're out a league in 2 and a half years as a first or second round pick, you're a massive bust and you have to deal with that. Yeah, mentally. yeah, financially. you got a little more money If you're a third or fourth or fifth round pick.

you're making hundreds of thousands of dollars, not millions. And by the way, you have to pay taxes. Mhm. You're normally a cliche kid and bought some dumb like a house and a car and a chain.

and so like most people that go play in the NFL when they're 26, are finished with it and have to get jobs. Yeah, and what people also don't understand is like and you know you've been in sports for so long it's you're you're really a machine. You're trained to be I was trained to be a machine and you Lo like you lose sight of reality a lot of times because that is what your life is. That is who you are you're competit like I Couldn't stand for someone to beat me in ping pong I Couldn't stand if someone walked upstairs faster than I Love you so much I'm on a mission to make competitiveness understood again I Think it's look look as you know it sounds like we're similar.

Everything everything is good in Balance Yes I don't think it's nice that I like am willing to like punch a kid. that's not. that's not that's not accepted in society I get it. but I'd be lying if I didn't tell you my chemicals.

if like, my son is getting really good at basketball and I'm like oh crap I need to beat him as many times as possible right now cuz unlike AJ my brother who was 11 years younger than me I I was you know he was I think 17 the first time he beat me I was 28 like I was still like athletic like I was still 28 I'm 48 and my son is actually a modern basketball kid which means he can dribble his. they're all step curried out. he's all step back AJ played more like the generation I came up with. There was no massive step back to creates separation and you can hit a three from half court.

So you're saying your son is better than you. My son is so uncomfortably better than me now now now. Luckily right now I'm also a grown ass man. he's a child so I can still be up 11 nothing but I already envisioned this weekend after playing a little bit.

I'm like oh I'm going to have to like, really get physical on him in two or three years like I don't need him winning before he's 15. like I can't lose to a 12-year-old but I'm going to have to body him up and like kind of weirdly hurt him. you have to true, but it's very different. When we were raised, we did everything we played every now.

everything specialized well. that's cuz all these parents are out of their mind and think their kids are going to be Pros fair I mean these parents are so delusional I was at this Central Park baseball game a couple years ago where like these two dads were just getting out of I finally just likez I can get loud I'm like friends nobody at this park is playing Major League Baseball like this is all fun in games but do you understand what's going on in Central and South America right now like every kid is kid's age, three times the size and throwing 90 M an hour there's no soft kid in Manhattan going to the league Harrison Bader is the anomaly not the preview? all right Andy Yes sir, what did you learn about yourself this year? um I would say instead of the the why the how you talk a lot about focusing on your strengths and puning your weaknesses and I would say that's something I learned this year how to scale everything we're doing at Vriends and in my personal life and not giving a about things that I suck at and making sure that I have people give us an example of something you suck at that you came to grips with this year cuz these vulnerabilities and like these real talks like I'm watching the chat as well like what I what I think is happening I had a hunch when I started this podcast that one on Three like when I do dinner there's a reason. Like all of my friends over the last decade professionally have fallen in love with the idea of one conversation with 5 10 15 not 15 5 10 you've been in a lot of them 5 10 people at a dinner table. It's the best and it goes like real and already in a quarter way into episode two.

I can feel it like they're different conversations that if I had you individually so just because there's so much trust between you and I I have no idea where you're about to go. but I'm genuinely curious just to empower people listening like go real real with me. What what this year were you like I'm just not good at this or or I'm not as good as I wish to be wor not good at it's feeling like because I'm in the role that I'm in I feel like I need to do it and understanding and being self aware. They're like actually this person's better than me at that and they're going to do a great job at it and I can let them run with it.

Got it? So like having this major leadership role which you earned from intern to this and it's high-profile especially in our and learning the role like it doesn't I don't have to be the one doing it as long as I'm understanding it Boyd did you Mike Boyd's in the background who's obviously done music with me forever Tyler Walsh has now been with us for what three years? Four years? actually just two two? Well this is actually cool because I think this is the compliment and flowers I'm giving him when Walsh joined a team and you've been like the central figure you my music plug. it's your identity. We have a playlist together like you're very well known. We've had a good run I've been a little head down these last couple years but we had this coming off this crazy run in music and Hip-Hop our genre that we love so much.

What did you learn that Walsh was better at than you and did you struggle with that or did you like were you ready for it because you were stretched or did it hurt a little bit because your whole identity in this thing was this and you're like this kid's got cuz you were also going through a part in your life when you got married, you had a kid and like you know I assume when you're let's call what it is, you two are a andrs like. There's some advantages to having 15 hours a day to listening to music and finding someone that a Walsh coming up the game can do that. maybe that you used to like I'm curious for you? yeah um yeah. so Tyler Walsh he's watching.

He's the best and when he joined the team, it was great to see him go above and beyond without me asking. yeah self. that helped me realize I could let him handle it. Yeah even on the way here we were talking while I was driving and I told him hey we could talk about this in a minute I need you to do something but we'll do it together.

potentially if you need help, he already had it done by the time we hung up. A lot of times he'll send me a video and he'll be like look I really think we need to do this. These are the reasons it could work like I didn't even ask him to make the video I show up to work. he's like I was reworking rethinking everything we've been doing and like without his help.

you know a lot of that would not about I think about that a lot. I Also, think about like you too and your disrespect. Like the things that like I think it's such a real thing Andy like you know this. go ahead please I see you want to say something.

Well it's another thing. like it's really rewarding to watch the people that you're managing or the people around you get credit for the work and not feeling like I need to get credit like you giving dabs to Ezra for something I'm like that's so cool I'm so pumped that he got to get that validation from you and I don't and I think if that's happening I'm in a good place and the team's rocking and rolling. That's right. Maybe I should join.

What? What? What did I Lear about myself this year? I think I've doubled down on like my kryptonite back to being lucky and I'm comfortable making a Superman analogy which is actually a weakness. My Superman of it all is a weakness. like I was raised as the first. I was the oldest child in the Immigrant family that was born in the old country that had a younger sister from day one.

My mom is like you take care of her. plus both my parents lost a parent very young. My mom lost her mom at five, my dad lost his dad at 16. Most of my childhood I Feared one of my parents dying like it was a constant play track in my mind.

So like I don't know my dad worked every minute cuz we were an immigrant family. so I don't know like at five like I don't know by seven for sure I'm like I'm the M I'm the guy I'm the leader mhm and like but does that take away the childhood as well? Of course it does. It's a real like plenty of like the way I think about my life and when I go into like therapy mode whether in therapy or like cuz I'm always in therapy mode cuz I'm always thinking like yeah, there's a lot so much of what made me me and like made me pop both in real life and then you know, since I last 15 years in public life is so much about that. but it's also my kryptonite.

Yeah, like like my lack of cander Gary Vee is a cander beast. That's what people fell in love with me for. Getting to the punchline, but in real life if I loved you, it was really hard as a business leader especially and in my personal life, you know, like you know you I really resonate with like putting oneself first like I enjoy making people happy I enjoy I enjoy being I Get it? You think it's your superpower Yeah, like I think my superpower is taking care of everything and making everyone feel safe. The problem is, we're human beings and so like.

When it was too much for me, it would come out as passive aggressive razes like something you know, like and Andy so like like the way I would manage. boy you know less because of the way our but definitely Andy who was on my content team said like my go-to if I was frustrated was not to speak canderous and just like cut to the Chase and move on. It was like little slights in jokey form because I didn't want it to be too much poison. but like you walk away, you're like yo.

what was that joke? It was true. you know for sure and like you rely on the fact that you have a real relationship and I can get away with it because I'm providing a lot of value. but over time I realized that's not right and it was my vulnerability and so I would say the thing I learned this year was probably the continuation of something that's been the theme for the last 5 years. which is if I can ever figure out how to get great at what I now call kind cander Mhm which I would say I'm at a four to five four.

let's call 4.5 out of 10. Yeah, but coming from 2017, Gary being at a one that 1 to 4.5 has been massive Mhm. How did you get? how did you get there though? What's the process? Yeah, realizing people that used to work here don't like me and I was like that's impossible Yeah like how is that Oh right when I look at please Please you gave a advice I think it might have been it was to some emerging musicians one time and I I always tell this advice now too. Uh, you had said they were about to pop like really blow up and you're like what I would say is you guys should have a day once a month every month every quarter where you go to the diner and you know that when you go to the diner you're going to lay out how you're feeling and everything that's pent up and it's going to give you that freedom and space to be canderous.

And so many times I use that yeah so many times I use that example like a cliche one that I did with my roommate after hearing that my roommate like wasn't cleaning up the kitchen and stuff and it just gets annoying I I asked like one so the chat's about everybody. had some roommate that was dir I was a dirty roommate in college so I'm like let's talk about your hat I love that brand like you asked once or twice and then he's not doing anymore and I'm like I'm going to stop asking but then the next time like resentment resent, you want to go play basketball and I'll just blow up like no you blah and he's like whoa, what are you talking about but then knowing I'm like okay that oh it's Friday it's Friday the last Friday of the month I'm going to tell Chris what's up and they just created like this safe space that I as a my parents are both therapists so I grew up with that every night at the dinner table and my brother would be like can you not make us tell about talk about our feelings can you like hit us like every other every other like adult every other parent but it's like it kind of we were I was so lucky growing up as a kid cuz it was like every night was like how you feeling like what's going on like yeah what have we done what somebody else done and it's it's an amazing tool to have I Me: it's everything. On the flip side I think about purple a lot So America's political system is obviously red and blue MH and I'm just like man we need to start talking about purple because the flip side of you know this especially growing up with those two kind of parents and I'm sure you know maybe you your family got fortunate because they found enough purple but I'm sure they had contemporaries where all that thing went too far the other way. you know.

back to competition I am petrified of eighth place trophies I I don't even know that world and I would tell you I understand why it happened because we would have compassion for children of course who would lose and cry but the incredible amount of indifference we have created for a generation has led to a lot of depression. When you don't care, when you think when you're when you're 24 and you're like it, think about what is the scary thing to hear when you as a parent. When you talk to your 24-year-old and they say it just does, Nothing matters, It doesn't matter. Yeah, you know you're in trouble, You know you're having a combo of like scary.

You know substance abuse, having real conversations around suicide, and things that scary, the great fear of any parent I Just want to remind people it doesn't matter is something that was instilled in kids heads. MH And when you tell people that when they're six and they play and they are naturally built to be competitive or care, I know I can speak for us to already in two seconds when people when I was seven cuz they didn't say this back in 1982. But if somebody even and some of my family did, if they even inkling when I lost a monopoly or pingpong or pool or backyard football, if they even tried to broach the concept of because I cried every time I lost for the first seven years of competition. So from 7 to 14 I cried.

When did that stop? Sure, it's 14. Somewhere around 14 15. I started fighting Yeah I me I fought a lot as a kid. and I because losing was devastating.

The thought that somebody would say to me it doesn't matter. Do Not tell a child who is wired to care AKA competitive that it doesn't matter MH because you are confusing the out of that poor little thing mhm. Of course the only thing if the four if one of the if you just said hold on you, us four need to race to the door. right now.

it's the only thing that matters. It's the reverse. There is nothing else. Yeah I think we've really created a culture of indifference mhm and I think it's a problem.

Yeah cuz indifference is the scary one. Like it's wonderful. If you're not competitive, that's beautiful. It's wonderful.

If you don't like, enjoy Uno or like great but to take that away from the other half I think has caused a lot of weirdness that people don't see yet. What do you? uh Chase or value more the excitement of Victory or just never wanting to taste defeat like n say a quote neither. It's cool to love to win, but it's better to hate to lose. Get honestly neither the genu genuine excuse me the genuine curiosity of where I stand.

it's why I love entrepreneurship it and and it's the the truth because when I think back of even winning gold medals or World Championships the second I do it I'm like great. What's next? 100% What's next? That's the kill. Look at me as a sports fan. I love the Jets and the Knicks but I equally grew up a Rangers and Yankees fan equally.

My high school friends always like talk about this like I was a most of my high school friends think I was a bigger Rangers Fan than a Jets fan in high school but the Rangers won the cup in '94 and that was it mhm that Curiosity was I was curious what it would feel like to win a Stanley Cup and then I did and then it was just not as interesting but on a deeper level to that. How do you when you achieve things? cuz I'm I I can relate to that massively. whereas like you you set goals, you achieve them and then it's like what's next. but there comes a point when there isn't a next I Just think there's this inner like competition that fuels me.

so it's not so much about what what you get from doing it, it's the process and journey while you're in it. I with I with it like every day like and I and it's funny cuz we're going to keep bringing up therapy because I'm in it a lot right now like I was. so the amount of self talk I had as an athlete I knew I was great and like I was so kind to myself and I didn't cut Corners All of my confidence came in my preparation but like it switches off when I'm in the real world in real life. Oh interesting it's so weird did you have as you so weird yeah the I don't think it's weird I think it's different Arenas yeah who we are as a professional is different than who we are in a relationship.

different who we are with friend. we have a lot of different versions of ourselves like I was not scared to knock on doors and sell stuff at 6 but at 14 like asking a girl out was still like uh I know like like we have just slightly. you know like you just you're just different in different places. certain places you have fear some people jump out of airplanes I'm like that but but then here like would never like try to sell something they're like I can't do that or public speak like when when that when I realize how many people are completely Fear public speaking like I'm like that's my bed, that's my home, that's the coziest place I know that's Cozier to me than anything I do we're like the same when I when I went to college I took acting class, poetry class, and public speaking.

love for electives love because I was like oh do this in my sleep yeah I'm not doing stuff where I have to like actually work like I'm good I get it. send me in front of a like a camera or in front of a group and I'll just be M I'm different when I'm cooking in the kitchen at work all like like just just different different versions. All right friends. We're going to open a pack of be friends.

So these are my Pokemon meets Marvel Sesame Street kind of world. Here's the game everyone. It's good. you can open everybody opens and then I want you look at four all four characters and tell me which character speaks to you and why? Okay I've got mine H DJ will you go first which be friend of your pack? Which vs did you pull? Legit llama, Boisterous Beaver shrewd sheep and the sincere skunk okay and which one speaks to you the most? Uh, legit llama? Why I think for me it's like I know exactly what I'm doing for myself and it's like it's not about anybody else Now it used to be about everybody else and kind of caring about what every what was what was the Tipping Point um some like fat personal family stuff that happened and it was just like the the focus just completely changed mhm and it was like okay now is nothing else, no one else matters right? It's just I'm just doing what I want to do because I want to do it and if I if it does well it does well.

if it doesn't I'm enjoying the like process. it's everything Yeah, Love it. I'm going to go with the Fearless fairy right now. Go.

let's go. And and I say this because I'm I'm like in this Pursuit and I said this very I said this at Von a little bit ago too. It's like I'm tired of of worrying about being understood yeah I feel like as public yeah as public figures so quickly like narratives are constantly ran and questioned about your happiness, your health, who you are and it's really conflicting and jading and it pushes you off your process a lot because it's like you could read 500 comments that people say about you're you're the goat, you're the goat, you're the goat and then one and then it just like is so crippling. and I can I tell you something on that please? This is real talk and honestly one of the reasons I'm saying this is it's very obvious that the whole Andy Warhol 15 Minutes of Fame thing like the whole I I heard this very early in Twitter 2006 seven I don't remember when I first heard it but the whole it's not 15 Minutes of fame anymore it's everyone is going to be famous to 15 people is real.

Yeah, like every child that's listening to this thinks about their personal brand. Mhm. That's crazy. It's crazy now now now.

I Want to remind parents that are like this is up social. That's how we all lived. Anyway, it was just that your personal brand was in the four walls of your high school. It's called reputation but it's obviously different.

Dynamics I See it as amazing because some of us grew up in towns where nobody could understand us, but we could find our homies now on Twitch or Tik Tok like I like it I'm aware of the reverse but I will say something to you that I want you to hear that I'm very passionate about and this is for everybody who's listening, especially parents to say something to their kid. We we talked about this earlier about selflessness and selfish. A human being that took time in their life to either find you or or consume one of your pieces of content and their reaction was to take time to try to hurt you is in a very bad place. We have to as a society.

this is just good for everyone. This has to become the way the world looks at it. We have to stop feeling bad for ourselves, don't become delusional and an and out of touch. Every negative comment I get and I get plenty even though I'm a pretty positive guy cuz I'm just at scale mhm I like kind of look at it like hey, am I high am my own Supply like this is like I don't want like I don't want to become a character to myself I'm reading them all cuz I think it's valuable to check myself yes but I do not internalize it I Deeply deploy compassion and sympathy for someone who's L I Have never in my life decided to go to somebody's account and leave.

Well, think about what I'm saying. We've not broken this down. You are laying in bed, you're walking down the street, you're on a plane, and you were in such a bad place that you want to go see someone else's light and you need to make yourself feel better. Misery loves company.

Sayings exist for a reason. You need to close the gap on your wound. You're only reconciling just like people go to. drugs and alcohol and food and other things to deal.

The way you deal with your unhappiness is you want to hurt someone else? That's bad. Have you ever reached out to them all the time I Used to do it you want to do You know? From 2007 to 11 I reached out to all of them really every single person for five years That left me something negative I interacted with yeah I respect that. it's why was going so good for me for a while. Like everybody who everybody who was like initially like this dude like they were like wait a minute and like so now I had like you know.

In essence they became the people that most liked me. of course yeah yeah, now it's just at so much scale. I don't I can't get there. but I really hope that everybody, not just us four get to that place because it's 100% true I was trying to think of a funny tweet where you used to reply a little bit I just book barked this and I'm going to come back to it in 2025 or whatever the case was, it was a funny rebuttal Andy yours what did you pull I pulled hyp horse unwavering urchin, skilled skeleton and bullish bull I'm going with bullish bull I'm just bullish on life and the opport opportunities at hand.

and I'm feeling bullish. You're in. you're in a good place. Yeah, I'm in a great place I'm in America I'm in Hudson yards I Just try to maintain perspective and I just think every day is an amazing opportunity no matter where you are, but especially where I am I Love that.

I'm going with common sense cow. I Believe that as the world becomes more complex, there's amazing things. we're more thoughtful. No humans like us four 30 years ago talk like this.

Unless you were in a family that like this was unheard of. Talk Unheard of. Love On the flip side, what is it? Uh, ignores? Bliss Yeahh, Like one of the things that is incredibly waning in our society is common sense. People are overthinking everything so much that you've overthought it so much that you don't even know how to cross the Street M And so I'm obsessed with common sense.

I The reason I made Common Sense cow was I knew I know that cows are easy to. You know sea urchins are a little bit weirder than cows like I Gave a lot of thought to like who was what and who they were going to be and like Fearless Ferry for a reason like I Like you know, like like. but Common Sense Cow is like super important to me because I'm going to develop these stories for the rest of my life. I First thought, it was more Disney Now I realized it's more Jim Henson Sesame Street become incredibly impressed with Jim Henson's life I didn't realiz the magnitude of his intent behind Fraggle Rock You know what Fraggle Rock is.

You know that there's a big show in the 80s on HBO when HBO was like new and cable and it was huge, especially for Twitch. Who knows what Fragle Rock is? Give me some love I'm sure it's been rebooted on the streaming service. Anyway, there was a creative brief that he gave to his writers to create a show called Fraggle Rock Usually these things are like a packet or at least a mission statement his entire thing. When he cuz I met we met the woman who did.

It was literally the whole brief stop. War Wow! Create a kids program that will stop War Yeah I Honestly like it was a cool meeting the the woman who worked for Jim Henson and she's in her 70s a British woman. She took the call by way of an introduction she didn't know anything about Gary she had no idea what she was getting. It was very clear within the first two seconds that she was that she was there to be nice to someone else and probably maybe maybe did a quick Google search and like this guy and then she got the Gary ve keynote of what he created vs for and then she was like excited she's like Not only was she excited this woman probably paid me one of the great comp especially I was always like Jim Henson's Rad but like now that I've been on this journey I'm like whoa Jim Henson's like Super Rad she she paid me an insane compliment.

she's like she's like she even I think the reason we're both saying it this way I think she was even like so British and straight forward she was like mate let just to keep it real with you I came into this just just check the like she was that awesome she's like but honestly I've never felt like this cuz I really went I felt like I needed to like show her that this was real for me not like I want to sell some cards and uh she paid me a really nice compliment and said that the way she was feeling reminded her of the way she felt as a young around. Why did you stop V friends Because Gary ve has been very effective. Yeah, like the guilt and gratitude yeah that I have of the luck notice the word I used one of my least favorite words in the world I Believe luck is weaponized by unhappy people to weaponize against people that are trying hard I don't like it. That being said, I used it because I'm in guilt and gratitude of who I am you want to talk like the I loved the way you talked about being like ready for your sport.

That's how I feel about life like I genuinely think I can beat everybody on Earth in life MH It's very unsettling, like it's incredibly powerful. It makes me unwaveringly happy. like nothing scares me outside of the health of the people I Love nothing. especially when you know you're willing to live in the dirt like all this is garbage.

Do you know my favorite Rocky is when he lost everything and had to go back. Yeah yeah dude. I'm a weird like one like nobody gave a about Phoen like I love the process yeah nothing. I went from not even be able to go to a Knicks game to finally being able to buy a ticket and sit way up there and now I can sit Courtside and if tomorrow something happened and I went back to having to be only able to buy a $100 or $300 ticket and sit way up.

Okay and what and what's going to happen and you're going to make fun of me that I used to. what does like I'm just I can't this goes back to the comments. Here's the key: I Don't believe the accolades. Yeah Mhm.

If you don't believe the accolades, you don't believe the hate. mm if really interesting that cuz like when it comes to Awards right there's Awards in sports. there's Awards in music. there's Awards in business and everything.

You've probably won awards for what you've done. probably. Let's talk about being a businessman. Yeah, if you talk to my Financial people, they despise my relationship with money.

They're like you're a businessman I'm like I don't give a yeah MH I'm one of the lucky few. maybe some people on Twitch will know where I'm going with this if you were born into not much yeah and you get to being about seven and your first seven years is filled with nothing but joy and happiness and you didn't have which is my life. My mother was so gangster in like pure over the top optimism Joy love. She gave me everything of sunshine, rainbows and hearts MH and we didn't have so who the do you think I am as a 48-year old man I'm a 48-year old man who fully understands there is no correlation of money and stuff and happiness and yet most of the world lives their whole life trying to buy a car or a chain or a building or a plane.

Or because they believe that once they get that, then I'll show all everyone's running on resentment I'm running on gratitude. It's also really easy though to say that from like we're all in a privilege point, right? It's very easy. This: why I keep referencing my high school like my high school friends know that I was making $40,000 a year at 26 living in a shitty Springfield New Jersey apartment and knew I was the happiest person in the bunch even though a lot of them were starting to make money in Wall Street and so like for me. Yes, I am aware that 99% of people that are listening right right now either don't believe me or don't know or will take me on my word.

But I also know that there's hundreds of people that know it's true I was more happy at 30 I just had less responsibilities Diddy and Biggie had it right. Yeah, More Money More Problems is real, so it really is. You know, like when I was in my pure process building a company for my parents I felt at the top of my game. I was sacrificing my 20s to build a company for my dad and mom.

What's more noble like I was perfect Mhm. You know now you get like all the noise and as much as I've got it like I'm still a human like sure I got my Force filled up. but like you know, it's like you know something can slip through once every two three years for four minutes, you know? So anyway yeah, I'm just incred. Anyway, where was I going? Oh be friends I've done some real damage.

Yeah, damage is a slang term of good I Have you know this? You ran my social with me? You know this. That's like I have unlimited DMS that are going to come into my DM tonight. yeah of people talking about being suicidal alcoholics hitting the do you know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of I just listen to a podcast and I don't know what the you do or who what what but you said two things and I just want to be vulnerable with you and I feel safe in this DM I've been hitting my spouse and I will never hit her again because of you. Yeah, do you know what that feels like? It's deep.

It's deep as when I take selfies. It's not because I'm a world class athlete or because I'm a shockingly handsome or because I make people laugh or give them incredible escapism through sport or music. Or it's because I'm talking about things that like they're actually doing either to like sell things like garage sales and get their family out of debt or completely sh. It's what you're pay.

It's why I admire your parents in you know, one gene of non- Entrepreneurship and I'm your parents? Yeah yeah. I'm a guidance counselor I'm a head coach I'm a teacher I'm a therapist and so you know Vriends is yeah. I've reached a lot of people, but there's a billion and I'm not the person that's going to reach them all. MH And by the way, as every day goes by, I become less easy to be relevant to course.

My Success keeps building. Yeah, you know, Like you know, like if you want to reach kids like I don't know a 50-year-old white dude who's got a lot of money. even though my story is real like it gets harder and harder. But guess what, a cute little bull or some of my favorite characters Accountable Ant.

Let's talk about Accountable Ant. I Believe the number one reason people are up is because they're not accountable. You want to get real happy real fast. Literally look yourself in the mirror and say 100% of everything that is not working for me is my fault.

That's true. And don't beat yourself up and say I'm a piece of I'm a loser. No, no, the second you go there you realize you can then also fix it. Mm.

But if you're blaming Biden or Trump or countries or China or the league or the media or social media or Tik Tok or Elon or Twitter or twitch or or Fox News or CNN or like if you're just well, then you're saying I'm not in control 100 I think even for me like in in my kind of Realm like social media is massive. As we all know, it's massive for all of us. but like the likes of Tik Tok for me, like Tik Tok just doesn't do it for me. it's just not for me.

and there's people that are in my career or in my industry that are way bigger than me because they do Tik Tok and it's like I'm for me. it's like accepting the fact that I would never I I cannot stand it. So why do it? It makes me so unhappy. So why do it I know I'm not going to be as successful as them.

but so what brother? it's like I can't be bothered I could probably own the Jets like business goal right now if I was willing to do things that I didn't like. if I didn't if I was willing to do things I don't like, it'd be a rap. Yeah I would have started a crazy hedge fund or a private like like I'm like I would have just been an investor after I invested in Facebook Twitter and Tumblr like I was in it. Yeah, you wouldn't have the admiration that you have from others though, that's for damn sure.

Yeah, and not that like. that's like you know what's funny? it's not like IND it's like honestly I ju like I've like back to like going through the process like I love my parents so much that like no question making them proud is like super big for me. But I got lucky because the thing that my mom put on a pedestal who predominantly parented me obviously like like my dad is a big factor in my life. he just like To his credit he worked to build our life.

then at 14 I worked with him every day and so I got very lucky I got them both more so than my siblings did. My mom's pedestal was not money yeah was not ad not fame it was. Be nice to people. Yeah that's why positive reinforcement as parents is such an important thing.

if you tell the reason so many people work for people is cuz their parents told them grades were important and so they just became conformists. get an A AK be a good manager compan takes to do that yeah play the system which is a fake system just like I don't know like it's such an interesting time in the world anyway I do please sorry I do think it's but I do think it's something to know which I find I admire so much about you to be so cuz you are such a giver you are. you're very It matters to you how people see you and feel your presence but you don't lose yourself in the process and I feel like I that's a that's a learning because for so long being in the spotlight doing this Social Media stuff do I was giving I was giving I was giving I was so empty inside I was a shell of a human so at what point yeah it's the hardest balance to find. it's complete.

it's a very up thing I I it I I always wondered like will somebody invent a machine that could actually like tap into you like a lie detector test and actually show everyone everything like I dream of this machine because if that happened right now and I plugged in you would faint how much good I want for you and want to provide for you? The problem is then there would be a comma after all of that mhm and that comma would be followed with you being like what the just happened because it would show you how much I do not give a about what you think yeah that which is a superpower that is like pulling so and that's why it's like such a fun life. It's why everyone I meet I'm just like going to give and give and give and if you don't reciprocate I don't feel bad yeah I didn't get the re the reason everyone's like when I say nice So I've been thinking about building a fashion brand called First. Nice Guys finish first right? Great. Call me yeah.

So people are constantly constantly saying to me you're so up with this G you don't It's all delusional I like I'm like you just don't understand what I'm saying which is like if you're truly nice I Believe most people posture manipulation into being that they're nice. Most people that like I've run across that are trying to be nice are trying to be nice to me to set up the ask 100% I Remember when it first started happening Gary I'll do you a huge favor I see her coming to Dallas I'll give you a ride from the airport right? So like instead of like laying in the back of a car that I paid 50 bucks for so I can like actually rest after a long flight and like maybe call my kids you want me to go into your car so you can pitch me your business and like, like and you're packaging it? That's that was always like the funny extreme example. but I think a lot of people that feel like they get walked all over for being nice need to look in the mirror and realize they're actually setting up a manipulation. Yeah, or they're deeply insecure and their validation comes for.

like being walked onh there is no other version. Yeah, cuz pure Niess is undefeated. When you're nice, you give without expectation. Yes, which means you can't be hurt.

Yeah, the reason I'm never hurt is I've zero m expectation to my actions towards them should not be reciprocated in any way. I'm not doing it for any other reason, then it feels good I love that I'm aware that it may lead to some like I understand life I just wish more people like went. All in all right wrapping up obviously I mean we this like zoomed by and I'm sure there was a couple things maybe on your mind that you want to talk about or tell people about I want that for you I'm what I'm setting up now is permission to tell the millions of people over the next half decade that listen to this, anything you'd like them to know or follow or or something you want to talk about. So before we get out of here part I feel like we yeah I feel like we hit it but it's so I'm really happy you do this.

It's really special. It's really amazing just to have a really vulnerable conversation. and I love that people are so genuine and open to it. and I'm happy I got to do this with you guys today.

Likewise, yeah, the same for me. Um, yeah. it's just nice to speak to people that you don't know and that you can relate on the same level as them and kind of have the same conversation is you don't often get it nowadays as well. It's hard to like.

dig on a bit of a deeper level and it's even harder to like. It was funny. 20 years ago, it was easier for me to find them. Now people are posturing of it.

but it's not fashion. It's fashionable. It's fashionable to have a therapist. It's fashionable to do what correct which is great.

But but the problem is, people are using it as makeup to disguise their real intent. Exactly. That's right. Yeah, yeah.

Andy um I'm grateful that I got to be maybe the best. Uh, substitute guest subtitute? uh and I hope to see Ashlin and uh, the crew back at Von in 2024. Can't wait! Yeah La this time August uh, 8th to the 11th La V.C Co Check it out! My parting is first to the Twitch family. Thank you for being here I up I promised you some questions I'm going to let Dustin and team grab three or four and I'm going to film answers and use it for social media content which is 10 times better cuz you're going to get full exposure for that so we'll make that good.

Number two Twitch Crew Uh I'm going over to Fanatics Live right now. Um so I know a lot of you I Saw in the chat came over to watch this I'm going back over there I'm about to give away a ton of free be friends Collectibles So download the app. go over there. I'm going to assume that most of you know how to get there.

If not, please leave some comments to the rest of the twitch family and I I'll leave everybody with this. Please hit me up on Twitter Gary V E e which with the quote or the statement or the topic that most hit you from this episode cuz I Always love to hear like what people attached to I Can also share it with my friends here. Thank you all for being on podcast with friends and we will see you next time. Can't wait! Peace.